The Return of Odysseus
by George Bilgere When Odysseus finally does get home he is understandably upset about the suitors, who have been mooching off his wife for twenty years, drinking his wine, eating his mutton, etc. In a similar situation today he would seek legal counsel. But those were different times. With the help of his son Telemachus he slaughters roughly one hundred and ten suitors and quite a number of young ladies, although in view of their behavior I use the term loosely. Rivers of blood course across the palace floor. I too have come home in a bad mood. Yesterday, for instance, after the department meeting, when I ended up losing my choice parking spot behind the library to the new provost. I slammed the door. I threw down my book bag in this particular way I have perfected over the years that lets my wife understand the contempt I have for my enemies, which is prodigious. And then with great skill she built a gin and tonic that would have pleased the very gods, and with epic patience she list...

now thats funny xx
ReplyDeleteYe gads! If that was on the up-and-up Mr. D Paul deserved the letdown!
ReplyDeleteLOL......!!!.. Was just moved to tears on writerquake, now I'm laughing heartily.. i love this blog thing.. lol..cheers!
ReplyDeleteroflmao!
ReplyDeleteYou're right-it would sound better with a British accent.
ReplyDeleteSo that's why I'm not getting job offers...HR people don't like being called a shank ho. Who knew?
ReplyDeleteThere'll always be an England...
ReplyDeleteOh, dear. I'm still laughing!
ReplyDeleteI'm gonna have to remember that think about not calling somebody a "skank ho" in a job...it might explain a lot about my current lack of employment....
ReplyDeleteExcellent! I love letters like this and yes it should be read in an English accent (not really any such thing as a British accent, take your pick from Scots, Northern Irish, Welsh and English :-))
ReplyDeleteHilarious. And so posh, in its clipped British accent. LOL
ReplyDeleteI suspect, as you all might also, that this is a bit of a joke. Yet, it still makes me laugh. Point taken, Argent about the English accent. I'm imaging Hugh Laurie reading this out loud.
ReplyDeletehahaha, that is awesome.
ReplyDeleteHilarious and refined! How do the British do it?
ReplyDeleteI love the british :-).
ReplyDeleteHigh-freaking-lairous!
ReplyDeletethis goes into my stories of recruitment and it just keeps getting better :-)
ReplyDelete