Saturday in CinCity

Above is the courtyard of BigFatUniversity Rehab Center where my mother is currently being housed after suffering a stroke. I'm off to visit this morning. The care has been good and now discussions and plans are underway for where to go next. She's had a right sided stroke and, while it generally saves the speech center, it takes out the portions of the brain involved with judgement, memory,

 problem solving, insight, etc...kind of a "six to one, half dozen the other" situation. As I'm sure you can imagine, safety becomes a big, big problem.

Ma would desperately like return to her home and that may or may not work. We'll have to see with a little further cognitive evaluation and another look/see from the psychologist. There's a thought that she might be "sundowning," and for those unfamiliar with that picturesque phrase, it's when an elderly person is perfectly normal and cooperative all day long goes bat-shit crazy around 4 or 5pm--when the sun goes down. However, some of this may be improved in her own surroundings and putting her own daily routine back into place.

We've been working around her apartment--locking the door to the basement so she can't get to those nausea-inducing steps, turning off the gas to her stove, putting grab bars up around the bathroom, getting a walker and canes, and today I'll go through and look for whatnots--lighters and matches mostly. And I'll do more wash since at the rehab center she tosses her clean clothes, still folded, into the laundry hamper. Six days worth of clothes in two days. Whatever.

 Finishing school is not really possible now. The only reason I was going to be able to go fulltime starting this fall was because of the NIOSH (National Institutes of Occupational Safety and Health) monies to pay for my full tuition and a stipend that would allow me to go parttime at work. We could pull through that for a year as a family, but not with this. Those monies have been deleted from the Federal Budget as of Fall, 2012, so I can't imagine that being made available again. Although I've emailed, I haven't written the letters to my instructors and the fire study investigator. That's really the point of no return. I know it's selfish, but I just can't go there yet. 

In the background. I'll be looking at longterm care facilities for Plan B possibilities. I'll write about them. I'm pretty sure there will be plenty of funny incidents to write about. I'll keep a journal which will be picked up by a publisher and made into a film produced by and starring Sandra Bullock and you will all be at the premiere hobnobbing on the red carpet. This can work.



  1. Loved the song, I think it will become my anthem.

    The best thing we ever did when we were keeping Daddy at home as long as we could, was turn the door knobs backwards. Then the sundowner stayed inside.

    I know you have a hard row to hoe, you will be in my thoughts.

  2. hugs take care and positive thoughts to you and your family

  3. I'm so sorry for what you and your family are going through. Sending good thoughts your way, hoping for good news for you all.

  4. That's a lot of loss all in one fell swoop. I'm so sorry. I'm glad for your mother that she has you to watch out for her needs.

  5. A dark sense of humor is a great survival tool.

  6. I don't know where to start. First, I'm so sorry for the problems you're facing with your mom. Strokes are such thieves. Is it possible to find a suitable middle ground for after care, like live in help (shared living situation), adult foster care or assisted living-vs-long term care? Time to think outside the box.

    Second, and really first, I'm so sorry you have to put your NP degree on the back burner. I know you were loving this program and I truly hope there is a way to salvage your dreams.

    My thoughts are with you all. Now I'm off to shop for suitable red carpet attire. I may even dye my hair for such an event.

  7. Thanks all. Really appreciate your thoughts on the matter and all your well wishes.

    Rudee, my ma actually lives in the same building as we do. It's a 2 family, so it's slightly assisted living already. We can do her wash(or get the clean clothes out of the hamper),do the shopping and send down meals. Hubby will drive her to Party Source. There's some walking exercise for you. OT/PT's coming tomorrow wth Ma to check out her abilty to get around her house with a walker or cane and check the bathroom for transferring onto the shower chair that she refused to use after her heart attack. We've locked her exit to the basement, we have her car keys,and we have neighbors and her friends who call and look in. I'm looking at Plan B's cause I'm a Plan B kinda girl and am looking at what some of the retirement homes have to offer. I've seen the studies which show a 30% increase in dementia in women over 85 with a first stroke, so I'm looking for options for if that kind of a future unfolds. Right now we'll support her living in her place up to the point of 24/7 care. We have to be able to be at our work without multiple phone calls and interruptions and we have to be able to go visit our girls and go up to the lake for 2-3 days. I'm not good with prolonged house arrest. We looked at the LifeLine program, but they call the life squad if they can't get hold of Hubby or me and they go to the house and break down the door if there's no one there to let them in or a hidden key that they know about. Ron can rarely get his calls in the ER and I don't if I'm in CT scan or MRI with a patient. Or in the tunnels or in hallways with a lot of metal or it's cloudy, etc. I really, really don't want to come home to our doors broken down because my ma forgot how the remote control worked. One hot mess at a time :>)

  8. Well,...shit is right. All I can do is echo her utterance and wish you the very best of outcomes, under the circumstances.

    I do hope that you will get me on that list for the Red Carpet Gala and give me some lead time so I can get to Cin City from Cintral France. Please don't tell me that you thinking of having the premier in Hollywood...

  9. True, life always seems to get in the way of our perfect planning. So sorry for your mom's stroke and your school plans. It is a shame you can't find a way around it all to get the school part done. It is only a year but can mean so much to your own life. I would think your mom would, in healthier days, want you to achieve that goal. Personal experience with Alzheimer's and sun downer's, I know it stinks. Of course when that movie deal is worked out, you can just retire.


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Hey, thanks for your thoughts and your time:>)

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