Bridal Shower
by George Bilgere
Perhaps, in a distant café,
four or five people are talking
with the four or five people
who are chatting on their cell phones this morning
in my favorite café.
And perhaps someone there,
someone like me, is watching them as they frown,
or smile, or shrug
at their invisible friends or lovers,
jabbing the air for emphasis.
And, like me, he misses the old days,
when talking to yourself
meant you were crazy,
back when being crazy was a big deal,
not just an acronym
or something you could take a pill for.
I liked it
when people who were talking to themselves
might actually have been talking to God
or an angel.
You respected people like that.
You didn't want to kill them,
as I want to kill the woman at the next table
with the little blue light on her ear
who has been telling the emptiness in front of her
about her daughter's bridal shower
in astonishing detail
for the past thirty minutes.
O person like me,
phoneless in your distant café,
I wish we could meet to discuss this,
and perhaps you would help me
murder this woman on her cell phone,
after which we could have a cup of coffee,
maybe a bagel, and talk to each other,
face to face.
Perhaps, in a distant café,
four or five people are talking
with the four or five people
who are chatting on their cell phones this morning
in my favorite café.
And perhaps someone there,
someone like me, is watching them as they frown,
or smile, or shrug
at their invisible friends or lovers,
jabbing the air for emphasis.
And, like me, he misses the old days,
when talking to yourself
meant you were crazy,
back when being crazy was a big deal,
not just an acronym
or something you could take a pill for.
I liked it
when people who were talking to themselves
might actually have been talking to God
or an angel.
You respected people like that.
You didn't want to kill them,
as I want to kill the woman at the next table
with the little blue light on her ear
who has been telling the emptiness in front of her
about her daughter's bridal shower
in astonishing detail
for the past thirty minutes.
O person like me,
phoneless in your distant café,
I wish we could meet to discuss this,
and perhaps you would help me
murder this woman on her cell phone,
after which we could have a cup of coffee,
maybe a bagel, and talk to each other,
face to face.
Your post just popped into my Followers browser, and I thought man, she sure is up late tonight!
ReplyDeleteLoved this poem! All that jabbing the air with blue lights on ears and talking loudly as if on stage...well, it makes me want to meet the poet per his plan. I have a "Go-phone" that I recharge every 90 days and I never use up what I've paid. I got it to take in the car and when I do remember to bring it along it usually has a dead battery. When it comes to cells I am the anti-techy.
I remember the first person I saw who had a head phone in his ear. I thought he was completely crazy, talking to nobody, and making gestures while he did it. I don't recall if I was annoyed, amused, or irritated when I figured out what was going one. It still throws me. With my new job, it's me talking to people on my phone all the time. I hate it.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much for the poem. I thought I was the only one who wanted to kill people who speak out loud to disembodied listeners about the most trivial aspects of their lives.
ReplyDeleteI only got pay-as-you-go cellphones for my self and my husband after he had a heart attack, or was it prostate cancer. Either way, I'm with Lydia. I just carry mine around and plug it in every two days to recharge the battery that runs down due to its energy-hoggy nature.
But, I have to admit, I am the woman who wears earplugs in department stores, waiting rooms, and libraries because I want to kill everyone who fills up the once-quiet-spaces with noise.
This may be a more serious problem than I thought... If so, thank you for bringing it to my attention with poetry.
trying hard to remember how it was then before cell phone?
ReplyDeleteDo you think it has something to do with people not enjoying their own company or being alone with their own thoughts?
ReplyDeleteWhat is it about this culture that we cannot fathom being unreachable? What is it about us that we cannot live with the blessings of silence?
ReplyDeleteI tire of hearing about the details of other people's lives. Today it was in the bathroom of an art museum.
I still don't have a cell phone, and may never have one...Once in San Francisco I saw a couple walking down the street together, both talking on their cell phones. How sad is that?
ReplyDeletelol. amazing post. people talking to themselves used to be fun, until the cell in the ear came around. annoying.
ReplyDeletei too am thoroughly tired of those who loudly inflict their tedium on us all...but just occasionally find myself noting their ridiculous and forcibly overheard conversations for use in a future story...the walls have ears.
ReplyDeleteI'm young. Phones have always been just an object which is there. I can not remember a time when a member of my family has not had a mobile within our grasps.
ReplyDeleteIt's quite scary that we rely on it soo much.
I sat having coffee the other day thinking the same thing... wanting to have a meeting with someone in the other cafe... there are so many people we can communicate with now a days - you don't even have to leave your house.
Thank you very much for the poem. I thought I was the only one who wanted to kill people who speak out loud to disembodied listeners about the most trivial aspects of their lives.
ReplyDeleteI only got pay-as-you-go cellphones for my self and my husband after he had a heart attack, or was it prostate cancer. Either way, I'm with Lydia. I just carry mine around and plug it in every two days to recharge the battery that runs down due to its energy-hoggy nature.
But, I have to admit, I am the woman who wears earplugs in department stores, waiting rooms, and libraries because I want to kill everyone who fills up the once-quiet-spaces with noise.
This may be a more serious problem than I thought... If so, thank you for bringing it to my attention with poetry.
The first time I saw someone talking 'to himself' whilst walking along the road I got quite a start as I thought he was talking to me. I soon realised he wasn't as he rushed passed me and I saw the thing on his ear like an oversize hearing aid.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to this. I am the person phoneless in the other cafe, and would GLADLY murder the lady with the blue light in her ear, if it meant a few moments of peace and quiet. Harsh, but true.
ReplyDeleteLove your blog btw. Thanks for sharing! Congrats on being Blog Of Note.
Your poetry made me laugh. Well done I will have to read more posts. BTW, I came via blogs of note. Julie
ReplyDeleteI love this poem! I heard recently on Writer's Almanac and I really enjoyed it! Great blog!
ReplyDelete