How Has It Come To Pass That I Am Not Living In Garnet Hill?

I came home from work last night and found my old friend, the Garnet Hill catalogue, waiting for me on the hallway steps. How has it come to pass that I am not living in that utopia?

That should be me searching out the "so many ways to celebrate spring"...reveling in "the versatility of cashmere", certainly "replenishing my wardrobe" and "refreshing my home."

These lovely, lovely people have no access to radios or televisions and have never heard of an economy--cratering or otherwise. I belong with my people. They are my tribe.

Don't be a silly ass like my husband and talk to me of marketing. I know these folks exist. Right there, on page 7., one of my could-be-best-friends is standing on the doorframe of her convertible with her big old crazy floppy hat and a fully, scrumptiously packed picnic basket in the back seat. She's waiting for me to arrive with the brown bag full of refreshing bottles of clear mountain spring water before we drive off to adventures unknown.

They show pictures of their golden haired children

and vacation photos from "Forget-me-not,Tidy-tips, and Goldenbush." You can't make that stuff up.

I think I must have a lie-down and try to wrap my brain around all of this.
Something, very obviously, has gone awry. I miss my homies.


  1. Your friends look so perfect, it's almost as though someone airbrushed their photos. Damn girl, I don't blame you for missing them.

  2. I am so sorry that you find yourself separated from your real family. Being adopted must feel just terrible.

    I do hope that you can get reconnected with the "Garnet Hill" Distracteds through one of those agencies that puts individuals in touch with their true family, for a price.

    I know that I could not possibly be related to them, sadly. They appear too happy, self-satisfied, and no one looks like she has a stress-related herpes outbreak and needs Acyclovir.

    However, if you so run into anyone like that in cataloglandia, please let me know--that will definitely be a member of my raggedy-assed tribe!

  3. Your homies look so much - nicer -than mine. Obviously I've been letter things slide....

  4. Hey----we can all look like that with Photoshop...

  5. I love Garnet Hill :-). Let's run away from home and go find them together :-).

  6. Just came back to read this one I missed. "I miss my homies." You absolutely crack me up. If you only knew how I laugh here at your blog you'd probably bill me!

  7. Oh Garnet Hill had me wistful and longing in the fall. Apparently they picked up on my financial distress though and excommunicated me from the community of The Thin, Adorable, Cashmere Clad, Down Sleeping, Handmade Wearing Community. No spring catalog for me.

  8. Well? A perfect post, at least!!! Very well done. Thanks! And congrats on your blog award!!!

  9. Your friends look so perfect, it's almost as though someone airbrushed their photos. Damn girl, I don't blame you for missing them.

  10. So very cute you are!! You made me laugh on a sleepless night.


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