Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Drama Mammas



It may be the effects of the full moon or the brain irritating yearly allergies to spring pollen, but there's been a bit o' drama at Chez Distracted over the past two weeks and I'm hoping it subsides soon. First, there's just end of school pressure with HoneyHaired Grrrl's projects, exams, and recitals barreling down the calendar. She's also starting a job--her first--today after school and that adds to the scheduling can of worms. She's not been one to plan ahead much and we try to let the lessons of procrastination run their course, but it stresses me.

CollegeGrrrrl is having mid-college crisis and has changed her major only to find that it requires a whole lot more studying than she anticipated. Whether or not she stays with it is up in the air and, again, I know this is all part of maturing, but it stresses me.

I want my grrrls to be happy and to do well. It's worrisome to see them having difficulty on their path. I wish I had Magic Fairy Dust to sprinkle on their hard, little blonde heads. I think, as many parents do, that I have been down those paths. I've learned those lessons, and I would like to pass them on so that the next traveler isn't waylayed. They could go on so much farther and more smoothly. That is not the way it works though. At least, not in our house.

So now I have some free-floating anxiety swirling around that does not respond well to coffee and Advil, which is my favorite fix for life's ills. I may have to bring out the big guns and take a nap. Not on a railroad track. Bad idea.

14 comments:

  1. Yeah, it's so normal for us parents to want to inoculate our kids with our "wisdom and experience"...even when we know they they have to make their own choices and learn their own stuff. It's a challenge for me to choke back that unsolicited advice. I recommend the nap.

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  2. I wish I had some profound words of wisdom that would release your anxiety. You are such a strong woman, just know that you have left that gene in them.

    Now go watch some video of your favorite mancake on DWTS. Dance along with him. Dance till you drop. And when you wake up from your nap, life will look rosier. Promise.

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  3. It's very hard to let our children fly. You must trust that you've given them all that you can and that it'll be enough. Once they enter that School of Hard Knocks, they may hit some air pockets and a bit of turbulence, but their foundation should see them getting to their destination safe and sound.

    Go take that nap-if the coffee combo will allow.

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  4. My sympathies...love your motrin/caffine miracle mix. The best solution today is probably to take a nap. As hard as it is to watch them bumble along and make mistakes, it is an awesome teaching tool. Life will rub those rough edges away. I know it is hard; I'm sorry. I want to be able to teach and learn; they desire to bumble and burn...Eventually they will tire of this? Hopefully? Yes, they will. Two of our girls are grown and pretty responsible citizens...just 4 more to go...I think I need a nap.. then some motrin...and caffine...:)

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  5. Stress is contagious. When someone we love is stressed or confused, we carry the burden with them. Which is a good thing--and a bad thing. : )

    Thinking of you and hoping things settle for you and yours.

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  6. Have searched everywhere for Magic Fairy Dust with no luck. Meantime, walking--for as long and as far as possible--helps. As does caffeine. Their stress becomes ours. All we can do is listen, hug when necessary, email, throttle pillows... and our own mothers just sit there and smile...

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  7. It's a hard thing to realize that we can't take away the struggle. As a butterfly needs to struggle to emerge from the cocoon, as a chick needs to work its way out of the egg, so do we to find our own way. We've been given roots; we need to find our own wings.

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  8. My daughter was always annoyed when I said "I have confidence in your abilities, do it yourself", rather than picking up her slack. However, now she has confidence in her own abilities because she was made to rely on them then.
    (And yes, I watched and cringed from the sidelines of her life)

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  9. No, that definitely is not the way it works, never has, never will. For any parent. So grit your teeth, hope for the best and get ready to do a bit of rescuing when necessary. And ASKED for.

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  10. By the time they reach 21-22-23 years of age (somewhere along in there), they will be amazed at how smart Mom has suddenly become, even though you are still saying the same things as when they were younger.

    :)

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  11. Sure wish I had some words of wisdom for you. I don't, just a little experience.

    All 3 kids are adults. All 3 have made mistakes--and learned from most of them, not all yet. All 3 have changed majors, and made excellent choices I'd never have dreamed of or suggested. All 3 are finding their way. No unwanted pregnancies. All 3 just are shiny as the day they were born. All 3 are loved, know how to love, and are making a go of life on their own terms.

    To watch is amazing, achingly hard at times, and the stuff of dreams at other times.

    And if there's one thing I know deep in my bones now, it's this: worry just exhausts me. I'd rather rest, read, meditate, laugh, play with my dogs, take a walk, get a massage, go on a retreat, do whatever it takes to keep the well full, the batteries charged, the heart wide open.

    The rest seems to take care of itself in time. But I never hesitate to let rip my advice when they ask. To speak my truth, as it were. And then I do my best to let it go and trust that they're in the grand care of the Great Unknowable, just as I we all are, even when we can't see it, hear it, touch it, smell it, or know it.

    Maybe it'll be a little bit of distraction, even though it's not a shiny object! ~;^? You've been tagged!

    Oh, and I have no doubt you're in the top .o1% of moms out there.

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  12. lol...brilliant!... (the video.. not your dilemma!) Sorry to hear things are going a bit pear shaped, I have all this to look forward to, my kid is just 9, so I will keep in mind for the future that it doesn't end at eighteen!

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  13. Shiny, as I am not a parent, I can say this as an older child-Stop it! No more stess or worry, things will work out and they will be fine, and learn lessons in the meantime. Big hugs. XOXO

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  14. I love it! Very creative!That's actually really cool.
    謝謝你的文章分享,請你有空到我

    參觀,Thanks

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Hey, thanks for your thoughts and your time:>)