So CollegeGrrrl calls me out of the blue and says,"I've had an epiphany." Epiphany she said, my hand to God. I said, "Yes...?" and waited and she proceeded to tell me how she had thought about things, her life mostly, and how it had come to her in a flash of light, the way truthiness generally appears, that I had been right all along "about everything" and she was going to change some things. She was going to put school first and look for some new friends.

I admit I've been worried sick about her, watching her life swerve toward the side of the road where it's easy to fall through the cracks. I've been praying and I even moved the statue of the Virgin Mary closer to the Grrrrl's picture on the bookshelf. Was hoping for some insight, was not expecting an epiphany. I'm grateful, to say the least, for even a day's change of heart.

Today is HoneyHaired's last day of school. She is slowly jogging over that finish line. Can't say I blame her much. She's had a lot of homework most every evening and studies constantly. I believe she's cooked and fried with the whole shebang. The new job has not helped in the short run--she's surprised how tired she is after working. Who knew???

That then officially makes it summer in the Distracted household, especially since school starts again August 11. Obscene isn't it? One week of recital performances and then we're talking ROAD TRIPS to visit colleges and horse country and Waffle Houses. HoneyHaired's promised to explain the mysterious workings of our camera and with luck I'll be able to post a photo or two. The sun is out, the breeze is cool, I've got some perennials to plant, and a stack of unread books next to the couch. Life is indeed good today. Make that this morning. Don't want to anger the gods and assume anything more than that...

For What Binds Us

by Jane Hirshfield

There are names for what binds us:
strong forces, weak forces.
Look around, you can see them:
the skin that forms in a half-empty cup,
nails rusting into the places they join,
joints dovetailed on their own weight.
The way things stay so solidly
wherever they've been set down --
and gravity, scientists say, is weak.

And see how the flesh grows back
across a wound, with a great vehemence,
more strong
than the simple, untested surface before.
There's a name for it on horses,
when it comes back darker and raised: proud flesh,

as all flesh
is proud of its wounds, wears them
as honors given out after battle,
small triumphs pinned to the chest --

And when two people have loved each other
see how it is like a
scar between their bodies,
stronger, darker, and proud;
how the black cord makes of them a single fabric
that nothing can tear or mend.

please note: photo is from epiphany - a world built from three disciplines - dance, aerial and theatre, grew from the seedling of an idea when Janine Ayres, Paschal Daantos Berry, Ben Watts and five dancers collaborated in 2005.


  1. Powerful, beautiful, and such a perfect photo!
    (And here I was feeling embarrassed about the bruises I get after mushing! Perhaps they're badges of bonding!)

  2. Sorry to those who had commented before...I had wanted these posts to be together and finally the caffeine kicked in. I combined them, but didn't know how to transfer the comments over.
    I very much appreciate your commiseration over the raising of kids, especially older ones, where you need to stand back more and the stakes are higher. But as Silliyak pointed out--"Truthiness shall prevail." :>)

  3. I am looking at you from the other side of parenthood - I am now in the realm of Grandparenthood. I will tell you this: Epiphanies from nearly grown children are good! Enjoy an epiphany while it lasts. Also enjoy your time with them this summer! It all goes by very quickly.

  4. I find myself limping toward my own Finish Line, which is June 5th. So near and yet so far, if you'll forgive the cliche. No epiphany here, just frazzle and fatigue.

  5. Please stop by to claim your award

  6. The epiphany is nothing short of her miracle. It's wonderful. Nothing will ever be the same in her life. (It's also cool that HoneyHaired has been witness to all this...might save her from swerving on the side of the road.) Summer plans sound so sweet. I, too, have a stack of books to read.....

  7. I can relate in so many ways to your end-of-the-schoolyear happenings. I just finished my semester; my oldest graduates high school in 2 weeks, and my other 2 are groaning their way to the finish line.
    Alleluia for epiphanies! Miracles do happen in motherhood...

  8. Life reads delicious, I'm glad for you and the poem ... exquisite, thank you for posting it.

  9. Thanks for this. The poem is beautiful, and you have given me hope that my own college student may reach a different sort of epiphany; anyhow, they happen, and that is encouraging to a parent, isn't it. Happy for you and both of your "Grrrrls."

  10. It takes a while for us to get smart again and all that college snobbery to settle down...never mind that we also went to college. That was so long ago and what do we know??? I wonder if it is possible to have children without swerves? 3 of our 6 have veered off the road for awhile in one way or another...but then I'm such a prude. The first two are driving quite nicely now and the third...well, there was an epiphany but I'm still holding my breath. I figure by the time the younger 3 start swerving I'll be too senile to remember their escapades from one day to the next!


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Hey, thanks for your thoughts and your time:>)

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